


The Day the Miso Died

by CyprinTheFabulousDragon



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Force Choking, Inappropriate Use of the Force, M/M, Violence Against Soup, fandom crack, tantrums
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-03
Updated: 2016-05-03
Packaged: 2018-06-06 03:24:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6736105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CyprinTheFabulousDragon/pseuds/CyprinTheFabulousDragon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Miso soup has been outlawed by the New Order. Those monsters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Day the Miso Died

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by an actual conversation I had with my friend at around 3 am. This is what our lives have come to. Feel free to blame finals, coffee, obscene amounts of porn and a lack of any emotion other than stress™. Also, the graphic depictions of violence tag is for all the soup lovers out there; the abuse was honestly so hard for me to write, but for the fic's sake, I had to.

Rey stormed into the Rebel meeting, where generals were gathered around a large hologram of the New Order's fresh base. All eyes were drawn to her, as she was walking with an intensity that made the air around her part and wake like a jet ski across the ocean. "We have to attack now," she demanded, her voice coming from deep in her throat. "All plans are out the window. We just need to attack."

The entrance had gained quite a bit of attention. Poe was staring at Rey like she was holding the sun and was ready to throw it, Finn was trying to hide the way his knees shook, and even Luke had looked up from the corner of the room where he'd been grieving over his lost life in the quiet mountains, sighing occasionally to see if he could get new ears to listen to him whine (the man hadn't changed a bit). Leia took a step towards her, making the girl stop in her tracks, both of them standing tall. The immovable object has met an unstoppable force; Leia stood against Rey's fury. "What happened?" The general asked, calm and collected as always.

"I just went to a convenience store for food," Rey said, "and I saw this." She rushed to the controls of the console, pressing just the right buttons to make the hologram base disappear in favor of an alert. 

The projection read, "MISO SOUP BANNED ACROSS ALL GALAXIES. FULL COOPERATION IS EXPECTED. A LACK OF COOPERATION WILL LEAD TO THE DESTRUCTION OF ANY ESTABLISHMENT. -THE NEW ORDER."

The temperature of the room rose along with the rage of the Rebellion. Leia stared at the words with a stone cold face. "This. Means. War."

~*~*~ Roughly two hours before the ban ~*~*~

Soup was, in all honesty, Kylo's favorite comfort food. Every now and then he'd indulge in his cravings and have a bowl or two for his lunch, and Hux didn't argue when he ate the instant garbage since it kept the edge off the angst brat's irritation. So Kylo sat alone save for two other storm troopers by a table, a ceramic bowl full of miso soup on the table in front of him. He'd poured it out of the plastic bowl it had been made in for favor of an illusion of some effort, though everyone knew it was instant. His mask rested on the table beside him, staring down the troopers as if it held authority on its own. Kylo let out an excited huff, taking a large spoonful and closing his eyes to enjoy the first taste. 

His tongue screamed, and then his throat followed suite, and, in horrible realization, Kylo rose from his chair and roared. He covered his mouth with a hand for a moment, the pain stealing all his concentration. It... it had _burned_ him... 

"You... _traitor_!" He screeched, using The Force and whipping the bowl into the face of one of the storm troopers. 

The man reacted too late to the bowl suddenly flying through the air, and the scalding liquid drenched his helmet. He cringed for a few moments, hands in front of his face, and didn't relax until the bowl on the floor had stopped spinning and sat still on the floor. He turned to the other trooper, pointing at his face. "Heh, I'm happy I had this mask on."

Hux poked his head into the room, scanning the situation. With a shit eating smirk, he said, "I must say, out of all your tantrums, this is definitely the least expensive one."

"You're thmiling," Kylo accused, his tongue starting to swell from the burn. "Thtop enjoying thith, you bathtard."

Hux snorted at the lisp. "You know, Ben, I knew your mouth was sensitive, but _this_ -"

Kylo raised his hand, Force Choking Hux, forcing the older man's feet off the ground. "I will dethtroy you," Kylo growled. The storm troopers across the room desperately fought for the will power not to audibly laugh.

"You don't have the balls," Hux forced out despite his squeezed throat, his face growing red from the lack of air. 

With a sideways glance to the two troopers, Kylo released Hux, letting the man fall gracelessly to the ground. While he shoved his helmet back on, Hux stood, fixing his uniform and brushing dust off his knees. Kylo stormed out, grabbing Hux's wrist before he passed. "I thwear to God, I will wreck you later," Kylo growled, cursing his tongue's refusal to properly pronounce his threats.

"You and I both know that's not how our nights usually go," Hux whispered, his lips barely moving. "See you tonight then."

Kylo threw Hux's wrist away like it had suddenly grown thorns and left the room, calling, "Thomeone thend out an order: Mitho thoup ith banned acroth the galaxieth!"

Hux smirked. _What a child._

**Author's Note:**

> I'm thincerely thorry.


End file.
